The world should know

In 2013, we met again after the haze of the abuse I dealt you. It had been nune months since I've seen you. And when you saw me, you smiled your brilliant smile and we walked to lunch.

Throughout everything, my heart was at unease. I didn't know what to do. What to say. Handling your rejection was new, I couldn't accept it after so many years of your willingness to take me in no matter what I did to you.

But then we laid together, and you said:

I always thought it'd be you.

Till this day, I can't get that phrase out of my head.

You said it so simply, as if it's a fact you've known all your life. Yet there was a tinge of irrecoverable tragedy in it, as if you knew you'd never be able to love me again. And at once I knew - I've lost you forever.

It was such a tumultuous year. You were the first man in my life to take me on a date 10 years ago, and since then we've come full circle. I don't really know what else to say. I don't really know what else is there left to say.

But I know I hope you read this.

And that someday we would talk again and you'd say;

  

  

What you know I need to hear most.