I have, once again, received the best standing job offer of my years so far. It falls to Weekender in terms of the constant stream of sponsored beauty products and food invites I used to get. I will miss that more than life.
But everything else, it reigns. For the first time in my life, I get dental. What I am going to do with it god knows, maybe punch out a tooth for fun just to fill it back in, but I have dental. I feel like an SAF woman already.
I only ever had three passions in this life. The first is writing, and the second is selling and the third is traveling. Gabriel is my forth and I live vivaciously for the moments with him heh heh. But moving on.
The ultimate dream is to combine the passions, where one day I write a Sylvia Plath/ Iain S Thomas/ Clementine Von Radics/ Alexa Chung-esque novel and through tricks and trickery, convince the large scale world into reading it and falling in love with the words and workings of my mind.
The alternative is to be hired to promote tourism. I, hopefully, have a reputable online travelogue with a base of followers. And I will promote flights and countries and hotels for a living, and I will live out of a suitcase till Gabriel marries me and we have babies made of gold.
But the third is to one day have my own apparel empire. I want people to look pretty. I want to dress you in gorgeous clothes and show you the best you can be. I want to write you poems on clothes tags. I want it all.
And my offer takes that last dream out of thin air and threatens to give it life. It threatens to materialize it, opening a challenge for a worthy owner, willing to stop being lazy and finally start working to fix herself.
I am 22. I'm not young anymore, neither am I old.
I want to afford a one-room apartment and have a single thick mattress in the middle and poems and drawings all over the place. But I want to afford a little semi-d where I can finally convince my family, my grandparents, and my cousins to sell their HDBs and live together with me.
I want to work shitty freelance jobs and give up a career, for as long as I can keep seeing the world and building my travel portfolio. But I want to work punishing hours and see the results and cry over my hard work coming to life and bring my family to the countries I've known and loved, and to give them the best money can buy.
What big dreams I have. What a clash of ideals they all are. What a dilemma I have placed myself into. And what a fucking glorious opportunity to break out of my middle-class cycle.
Take the leap of faith Nicole.
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The dilemma is over.
I said yes!
The next time I am this happy about a yes better be when he proposes.
But anyway, so it has been done! I will update again once I get my contract and make love to it. No I have no shame. Yes you needed to know that detail. Moving on, decided to celebrate by buying food over to grandma's!
I also snuck the box of mini food that baby bought for me from his place because he preferred our 500 piece puzzle anyway, which by the way is risking never being finished because both of us got bored of it within a night yep we are a match made in restless heaven.
So me and my sister made food, with my grandma and aunt as audience!
I should do flatlays more yes I should.
Was glum in the morning because aunt decided that Bangkok was too big a risk and she cancelled our tickets. And I almost, on the spur of the moment, bought tickets to Hong Kong as a final trip before working full time again.
But baby is sailing for two weeks in September so perhaps I'll save up a bit more and head out to China and take a look at whatever lies there. If my majestic streak of luck doesn't end, then I'll find my calling there.
Or a warehouse. I really just want a warehouse.
Happy days with happy family!
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