I love you in a hopeless kind of way.
It is the way I know I can forgive whatever you do to me for as long as you stay. It is the way I know you can run over my feet and I'll still give you a massage to calm your nerves after. It is the way I forgave you for the Bangkok incident because the alternative is to be without you and that will forever be beyond my imagination. It is the way I only know peace when I'm with you.
And I know it is the same with you.
It is the way you saved for weeks to get me the most expensive birthday present I ever received. It is the way you woke up at 6am to accompany me to the clinic. It is the way you spoke up during the consultation to tell me to update my doctor with my new number. It is the way you woke up today and busied around before happily plopping yourself onto my bed and smiling the most beautiful smile before landing on me.
The world is different now than when it was 10 months ago.
10 months ago, I walked around with nothing on my back. I could die and my regrets would be limited to not having spent more time with my family.
But now, I carry the weight of our love and I can't afford to die, not yet, not till I see you carry our children and not till I get to cuddle with our little Constantine and Artemis while you make us dinner, as you always do for me.
I have a lot more to lose now.
And I'm so glad it's all you.
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