Galaxy in my thighs

Today was a whole lot of yoga, closing with a final hot lesson at Shiva before I fly.

Over the next few days, I will miss not having classes to go to. But I will not miss the demoralization I feel every single fucking time I fail to do an unassisted headstand, tripods stand, or every single fucking time I fail to go into a stretch that's more than easy for the regular girl.

What the fuck is wrong with my hamstrings? Is it years of me wearing heels that crippled my knees/ hamstrings or is it just fucking bad genes? Why can't my body adapt to everything I'm doing and show some improvement already? What the fuck is wrong with me?

Is three hours a day not enough? Do you need me to up the torture? But if I do, can you even fucking perform? Will you fucking improve? Or are you going to stay a useless piece of inflexible fuck for the rest of your days?

You fucking worthless body.

Gabriel came over later in the night and significantly improved my mood.

He reached my place before me and happily plopped himself on my bed to wait. I reached a little after him with a surprise and he wore the most brilliant smile on his face, asking me to pout upwards at him and going "awwww so cute!" when I did heh heh.

We went out to fancy dinner because he had an intense craving for escargots. We ended up way overeating and me finishing my own plate for the very first time, leading him to congratulate me on finally having a normal person's appetite.

He has this old-age charm about him. Like we'd be on an escalator and he'd take a step below me just so he could kiss my shoulders. Or I'd be opposite him in a restaurant and he'd hold my hand and kiss it before snuggling it against his face. It's so wonderfully affectionate. I adore him.

After a while we headed back to his place and I laid next to him, taking him in and remembering his scent. We watched Friends for a bit and it was an episode I watched before, so I just snuggled in his arms and watched his face as he watched the show.

I love his laughs. I love the way he has different laughs for different jokes. I love the way he laughed at Chandler's "this baby has 5 gigabyte of ram!" just because 5 gigabyte is nothing now compared to back then and it was such a geeky thing to laugh at but he did anyway.

I fell asleep after a bit and woke up to him rustling about at 5.30am, trying to get all our Carousell deals together before work. I was sleepy and groggy but I followed him around the house trying to get kisses. He kept repeating he was late and hurried off :(

I can't wait to marry him. I can't wait for the rest of my life with him.

I'm finally happy.