Dear God

Do I love you.















So very thankful for my man.

Woke up at his place rushing back to my own because of a few due meetups that instead materialized into postage, which isn't all that bad but I COULD'VE SAVED THAT TIME TO GO TO CHURCH WITH MY MAN! And God he looked so hot in church too.

I'm using God too much aren't I, sorry God.

Fell deathly ill again and dropped asleep for hours before abruptly waking up from a bad dream. Resolved to go see my grandma and I did, but it was pretty untimely because I was under a shit ton of sudden stress from work and ended up not being in the best of mood. I regret everything :(

Baby met me at Choa Chu Kang and lovingly hugged all my stress away and happily told me about his big Carousell revelation. And I don't show it enough, but I am excited (while simultaneously a little weary) as fuck about restarting. Fourth time's the charm huh!

No but seriously, I'll never give up trying to establish my clothing empire so now that I have the world's smartest man by my side, I have a legit shot at it!

Watched Our Times with him and I was so, so terrified that he wouldn't like it. But he did! I kept checking to see his reaction throughout the movie and he was so adorable hehe, happily jumping when Sun Wukong was mentioned and exclaiming, "See! That's your ex! And the lead is me!"

Awww I'm smiling just at that memory.

I almost teared at the movie........ fuck I tell you, English chick flicks do not fly with me. I haven't watched an English chick flick since 2008 and I am fucking proud of it. But I am a sucker for Taiwanese ones. It's their fucking lovable accent and their lame jokes DAMMIT.

So anyway, we headed off to his place where we both binged on soup and canned sausages heh heh there go both our diets. After a while, my illness came back to torment so he tucked me in safely early and went back to Dota till 2am sigh my man-child.

Instababe in my bed

The face of diet and body regression hahaha fml.

Anyway, saturday was a whole lot of sleepy baby in my bed!

He came over and stuffed himself with the food my parents lavished on him heh heh. Then, conveniently, after eating he had a headache and so crashed on my bed for a good three hours. Eat sleep repeat. He woke up after I pounced on him and demanded his attention!

Before he slept, I kept trying to horrify him with my pi and he kept dodging it before mock-crying as I threaten to disbelieve his love until he sticks it up his nose.

A while later, my sister came to the window and asked for help getting perfume. He responded, "no!" and then, "bu yao!" when nobody acknowledged him hehehe AHHH SO CUTE I'M DATING THE CUTEST THING.

While he was sleeping, I shifted out of his arms because I was restless but I kept going back to try to nudge him awake. And once, I was laying next to him when he grabbed my head and shoved me into his face and happily nestled towards me.

And when he's not being the world's most sugary thing, he's being a hot mess by refusing to wake up. I would lay on him and stroke his hair and ask him if he wanna wake up. And he would shake his head and turn away hugging my bolster. And I would, seemingly angrily, pull away from him abruptly and he'd open a sneaky eye and say, "okok 15 minutes?"

Awwwwww I'm dating a man-child.

We headed off to his place afterward! Somewhere in between, my Instagram notifications started to go crazy and I realized it was because I got a feature from a Singapore Instagram babe compilation user. And none of the comments were as flattering as..



.. his! :)

My excitement shone through my poker face and he encouraged it, making me assure him that I will never leave him. And I happily followed him home only to fall deathly sick and in the end, had to be put to bed. Not before he could said, "I have an instababe in my bed!" proudly hahaha.

He nuzzled me gently and made sure I was tucked in before four hours of non stop DOTA LEH DOTA LEH EH FUCK LA THANKS LA GUYS MY RANK DROP N00B TEAM.

And after satisfactorily losing, he climbed back in bed with me and snuggled me to sleep! :)

Most productive day

In a lo-oooooooooong time!

Spent the bulk of the morning working on the RISE telemovie sponsorship wishlist and then rushing all over western Singapore trying to complete all my meetups. I netted in both a good amount of professional work and personal Carousell business today. I AM HAPPY!

I came home exhausted as fuck, so what better way to punish my body by putting it through basic beginner pole moves and grueling self-worth questioning when I can't do said beginner moves!



Self-learning is not easy.

I used to think anything can be taught from YouTube. And as such, I didn't bother attempting classes/ courses. But only after taking the plunge and going for actual classes, did I realize that while YouTube can teach you moves, it cannot teach you form and it cannot teach you discipline.

My yoga is at Suntec, a distance away from where I live. I go there for an hour long class. My pole is at Tanjong Pajar, pretty near where I live. I go there for a 45 min class. My investment is both my time and course cost. And hence I am more motivated to do well.

Still, now that I know, I'll work on it.

On a separate note, most of my moves in the video aren't very impressive. I took a three-week hiatus because of work's instability and the term break so I did not learn any new moves from any instructor and relied solely on YouTube videos.

Anyway, tired and sore from pole training, I looked up and realized it was time for my yoga therapy. I was this close to giving up but I thought, "Aiya go there and give up la, don't give up here," and holy fuck am I glad I did.













Yoga therapy turned out to be one of the most boring lessons in the history of mankind LOL.

And me being me, I said it as much to the instructor. I told him the class was so calming (I switched it from boring last minute) that I kinda dozed off in one of the poses and he laughed and directed us to the studio next door holding hot yoga. SO ME AND PAM CRASHED IT WHOOP!

And it was amazing.

Rina, the instructor, wasn't like our usual hot yoga instructor. She was forceful, she was flexible, she took no halfhearted moves for answer and she could've been ex-military for all I know.

"HIGHER."

"STRAIGHT. I WANT STRAIGHT."

"MORE. MORE. MORE."

"SHOULDERS BACK. ALL THE WAY BACK."

"NOW HOLD, HOLD, HOLD, DON'T LET GO."

And I fucking loved it.

It is in my nature, I love being pushed LOL. I hate lazy instructors who don't push your limits. Come on, break me, don't worry! In fact, I'm happiest when you terrorize my limits and break me in half in the process.

Rina was crazily dedicated too. She went by one by one to push our backs down or tug our shoulders back. She yelled at every move we couldn't do and pushed us to challenge limits. I am writing this post the next day with a body ache the size of Clementi but fuck was it worth it.

I want more of her classes!!!



I am a satisfied woman.

Going through all these exercises left me with little energy so I passed on meeting Gabriel, something I've been doing more recently ever since the induction of all these activities in my life. But oh well, everything's a balance, I cannot question it.

I stopped losing weight. I did. I stopped taking the pill. It wasn't that hard. It was a very conscious decision. I used to wake up and tell myself ok, time to fucking push my eating limits and lose 0.3kg by the end of today.

Now my thought process goes like this: if I starve, I will fall off the pole because I have no energy. If I starve, I will do all my yoga poses only halfheartedly because the headaches will plague me. If I starve, I cannot proceed to fulfill my Carousell meetup schedule in good mental health.

And so to gain back my mind and body control from this pill, I gave it up.

I'm back to a disgusting 40kg.

I can over-eat and under-exercise but for the past three days, it hasn't showed much on the scale. To the scale, I'm stuck at 40kg no matter what I do now. But my mental distress is all-consuming. I look at my thighs and swear they grew. I look at my arms and fight the urge to rip them off.

But at the same time, I have been able to go further and lower in my yoga poses. I have been able to reach higher and spin longer in my pole practice. I have developed core training inculcating the pole that truly requires a prolonged dry palm grip (the pill gives me sweaty palms) and general strength.

And so, I'll take it.

In exchange for strength (and otah), I'll do it.

But in a week's time I'll probably push myself again and attempt to do everything forementioned, but this time on a 70% filled stomach. And then I'll push it down to 50%. And then 30%. And then I'll die and this will become a bestselling journal about The Girl who Wanted to be Heidi Klum-skinny so bad, She Died.

Yeah.

Can you rise?

Today was Amnig fitting for Joshua Tan.

I expected a man who at least had a tinge of arrogance, which is forgivable since he truly is red-hot popular now. But instead, much like Pierre Png, he was sweet and funny, making comical self-deprecating jabs at himself whenever he could.

I was doing photography today for him and Alpha. He wore one of our compression products with his stomach looking slightly paunchy so I asked if he could suck in for a bit and he gamely obliged while complaining, "This is my abs! Not fats! You should tell me to suck in my abs!"

But then I met my actual celebrity later that night, when I was sitting in the prata house alone. A bus 165 drove up and with it, the most handsome man in the world glancing through the bus door. I smiled my widest as he alighted, hair in a fluff, holding my hand and kissing my head.

I love him so much. It is incredible how easily he makes me smile.

We took a long bus home and it was magical.

I showed him my Batman socks and how I poured water from an ugly bottle to my current pretty one and he smiled and kept hugging me, gushing over how adorable I am. And he would be doing perfectly nothing and I'd jump on him and try to hump him senseless.

At one point, I complained about my ex and how disgusting his job was and instead of making just jabs, Gabriel turned me away on his lap and made a pui sound after saying my ex's job in disdain. SO CUTE AWWW we both couldn't stop laughing. I almost fell over in tears.

My man is my lousiest personal photographer.





I love my new Amnig top!

I cropped it in a fit of anger in the afternoon when it kept covering my gun holster print. And then it frayed upwards and tell me it doesn't look better this way. Also this pair of leggings is now immortalized in my mental outfit trophy hall.

Night time was a lot of me rushing to close Carousell deals while Gabriel quietly sat at my desk, working out the profits and losses our current product range is making. My fucking God how did I score this man.

But he's a lazy little pig too so he has since dozed off early and left me to write this post alone at 3.15am in the morning, before I start on Amnig's work that has to be live in the morning.

Goodnight you.

Day 2: 2 Days in Kuala Lumpar for SGD$100

Deliver us! To the promised photos!

I promised photos of the hotel like a good reviewer but you had to know that my vanity was implied by now. So if you were looking for actual, useful photos of this place, go to Agoda or TripAdvisor. All you will find here is my vanity, my vanity and my holy fuck irrepressible vanity.

And also an honest-to-God review so stay pls.











So ya that's the bed. The end LOL.

Okay to be honest, for the ridiculously low price my company paid (disclaimer: all costs stated for both day 1 and day 2 are entirely bear by my company, my price reference is through their badly-sneaked-away receipts and price checks online) this place is gold.

I slept so incredibly well even though it was my first time sleeping alone outside of Singapore. It was also another night of petty quarrels with Gabriel so it was that good to sleep in that I can survive a quarrel and an overpowering taste of loneliness lol.

Anyway, morning came and it dressed the sky in a lovely, yellow gown.

We headed to Dim Sum Kitchen, in between Ryokan Chic and Amnig, and dear Lord good food truly do exist at every corner of Malaysia because I had the best fucking fried beancurd skin of my life here. The sauce was so rich and the skin, perfectly crispy. My face melted into an orgasm.

But I wanted my excursion more hehe so I charged through breakfast and impatiently waited for groggy Dave to finish up before finally, and almost skipping, to Amnig!











Me looking formal because Dave was my photographer.

But look at it! I was so excited I immediately started browsing through shopping before Dave reminded me that I was here on a work trip. And so I glumly started to go back to work... while secretly shopping.. and working.. because my job is a delicious mix of both WHOOP!



Nike shoes in my own company's sportswear shop I am ashamed.

But they so chio.

No shame no more.















I am still not a cap person.

Lunch was Umai-ya Japanese Restaurant with our finance manager and it wasn't that good but it was super worth it. My chicken katsudon, at 19.90MYR, came with a bowl of soup, a bowl of fruits, a chawanmushi, a drink and a happy smile for Cindy's wallet.

I wanted to try more but I never ever finish my food and it felt like I was over-eating just because it's cheap so I should come here with Gabriel next time so that he can be my food rubbish bin hehe.

Anyway, the day passed fairly quickly and interestingly because the Malaysian staff were all so fucking friendly. I can't believe how easily I felt at home. But on a serious note, this trip was a great insight into what goes on behind a final product.

I met our designer who was supposed to give a face-lift to a selected series of products. She had this sassy air about her and wore a measuring tape around her neck and showed us exactly where she can put more logos or fonts, which materials can do heat transfer, what items are untouchable, etc.

A bit later, I met key player in the Malaysia sports industry, ex-GM of Royal Sporting House Malaysia, Mr. Saw.

From the minute the meeting started, we could feel his aura reach into the sprawling corners of the room. He was magnetic, he was experienced and his advice was phenomenal. It wasn't the kind of shit UniSIM's Diploma in Business fed me. It was a goldmine of knowledge. I lapped it all up.

I am not stupid enough to divulge further on his god-bless-him nuggets of wisdom but under his hand, Amnig's truly gonna soar. I cannot stress how excited I am. The future for this brand is wondrous and I will be a part of it.

The meeting over-ate into our time and we ended up almost missing the coach home lol I almost got my wish of staying there longer. Thankfully, our e-commerce manager drove us down and we prepared our asses for another five-hour, mind-numbing journey home.



Night time was a lot of Gabriel abuse and eventual lovin' :)

In summary:

AeroLine coach one-way: 55MYR
Not too bad Japanese food: 19.9MYR

Total: 74.9MYR // 24.3SGD

Day 1: 2 Days in Kuala Lumpar for SGD$100

Hello guys, it's been a while.

I would say excuse my absence but you and I probably both don't care enough so fuck that, hope your days have been good to you. My days have certainly been lovely to me.

Today's work started eventfully.

A local production house contacted us, asking for our interest in sponsoring their latest, made-for-MediaCorp show and of course, we jumped at the chance! Very soon, you will see our three-month old brand slapped across all your television screens WHOOP WHOOP.

My morning was spent fitting Pierre Png in our brand.

I was sick throughout the fitting and hence didn't speak much to everyone but it was an interesting experience. The production team minded everything from color tones to character progression, and our outfits had to complement that minute by minute.

I concluded early and I was happily ready to leave when Dave stopped me and said to pack, we're leaving for KL in four hours. A part of me went "what?" but the other part was screaming, "FUCK YEAH WE GONNA SLEEP ALONE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN OUR TRAVELING LIFE!"

So I skipped home and the best surprise was finding my grandma there!

She has the cutest habit of bringing us Pizza Hut whenever the mood strikes her. Today she adorably complained that she paid full-priced this time, no longer the timely 50% off she always catches. SO CUTE.

With grandma comes love, food and fucking great photos:











Trying to do some stretching before a five-hour, ass-numbing coach ride.





Holy fuck I love my leggings.



















MY GRANDMA IS QUEEN PHOTOGRAPHER.

I like how she completely neglected to tell me how thick my ass and thighs look in this photo. The whole time I was scrolling through, the word thick thick thick kept maruqeeing across my mind. But my shoes, holy fuck my gorgeous, orgasmic shoes, saved them all.

Grandma made me otah because I had been craving it FUCK I AM THE LUCKIEST GRANDDAUGHTER IN THE WORLD and then worriedly followed me to change money before sending me off grudgingly heheh so cute.

Dave booked AeroLine tickets for us, a five-hour coach that takes us from Vivo City's coach point straight to a terminal in KL. He advises to buy tickets from the AeroLine Malaysia website because it is strangely much cheaper than if you buy it in the AeroLine Singapore site.

We boarded and so begun a five-hour long journey.

He dozed off after clearing pretty much every show on our in-coach entertainment, including documentaries on polar bears LOL, while I cleared all the Friends episodes I downloaded heh heh. I AM A STOCKED BITCH.

We had a few stopovers where he kept insisting food on me even though I was full. The nasi lemak I had was like RM15 and it was a choking full plate of goodness. Thinking about it makes me hungry.

By the time we reached KL, it was 10.30pm and because Dave's stomach rivals a black hole, he cajoled our finance manager, Cindy, to pick us up and drive us to supper. It took a couple of closed cafes but eventually we found a place whose name, after an hour of honest researching, I forgot.





See world I am trying to be stretchy I AM SO LET ME SUCCEED.







Comfy photos on a lazy sofa.

My supper was a tall glass of iced chocolate and the best fucking wings I ever had. But thanks to my shit memory, I will never find it again FUCK ME but it was the biggest meat platter for just RM45 oh my god I could get used to this life.

We ended our supper on a happy note and headed off to our hotel, Ryokan Chic Hotel.

I like the place. (photos in next post)

The washroom was the oddest thing. I couldn't figure out the six knobs but I had the good sense to don on a shower cap.

Actually, it fell out of its box while I was getting the toothbrush and being too lazy to throw it in a faraway bin, I decided to put it on so I don't have to carry it around nor reach out and put it back on the table. My laziness has reached horrifying heights.

Anyway, they have this new, state-of-the-art shower station that confused me and sprayed water directly to my face. So my shower time was my phone blasting Adele screaming "SO HELLO FROM THE OUTSIDEEEE!" while I screamed on the inside.

But I liked the bed and how Ryokan believes that five tv channels are all it takes to satisfy me. To be fair, they offer free wi-fi so the tv was probably just for show. Still, they should be thankful I stocked on 20 episodes of Friends.

I spent the night with all the lights off but the tvs, playing soundless shows to sleep as my Singapore boyfriend ignored me to oblivion.

In summary:

AeroLine coach one-way: 55MYR
Overly generous nasi lemak: 15MYR
Overly hard to remember pig's platter: 45MYR
Ryokan Chic Hotel: 100MYR

Total: 215MYR // SGD$69