It was a simple truth that consistently stood the test of time. I made a stance to forever be as miserable as I can to make up for the pain I brought to the people I hurt and I was fine living through that.
But then, there came you.
It is funny, but I never pictured myself with you. In the beginning, I would read your messages and delete them. I don't have a copy of our earliest conversations because I simply didn't think you were important enough to have a space on my phone. I was so close to settling down with another.
And now here you are, my wallpaper, my lockscreen, my love and my universe.
I am rereading our first few conversations now and feeling your frustration heh heh heh. What a shitty replier I was. And what a valiant attempt you made on me. I am so glad you persisted. I wouldn't know what to do if I missed out on you.
So in case I forget the story of us, here is my recounting of the day I first met you:
I must have been late. You cannot take it personally. I am late to every appointment I ever had. I will probably be late to my own wedding. Moving on.
You were waiting at five and dime; I saw you immediately when I alighted the cab. I tried to look as presentable as I could even though my nose thing was killing me. I made a mental note to turn on all my charms and waltzed in.
You looked up as I sat down. I saw your anchor necklace and thought, "ha this man must have had black nail polish at one time". The second thought was on how cheesy your coat was. But I said none of that. We chatted and the waiter came with the chamomile tea in a bit. I thought that was the sweetest gesture ever.
I forgot what we talked about, but you had the most gorgeous, mega-watt smile. It wasn't a boring, gentle smile. It was a very tongue-in-cheek and playful one. You looked like you had fire in your soul and I loved it.
We talked and for the life of me I can't remember what it was exactly, but one way or another it made me want to extend our date and so I asked you to have dessert with me elsewhere.
We walked and I found myself bothered by your height. It was the first time in eight years where I didn't have to break my neck to look up and talk to a date, but it felt so.. comfortable. You were intelligent and lively. You were such a charm. And you looked absolutely delicious that night.
We didn't find a place in clarke quay but I excused myself to go to the washroom to change my cardigon. When I came out, you didn't give a reaction but as we walked to the bus stop, you said simply, "I like your hair better like that" and I smiled heh heh.
We took the first bus I saw. I told you I knew where we were going but obviously I didn't. You figured that out though heh heh. You spoke vibrantly and passionately about something, was it batman? You cared enough about the topic to bounce off the seat, to put an arm out and look at me to re-iterate it.
It was the first time I met a man more animated than myself and my god was it interesting. Usually I am the one with the big actions and spontaneity; you are the first man who was immediately larger-than-life than I was. What a curiosity.
We had haagen dazs and you looked lazy and comfortable, stretched out in the chair opposite me. I forgot what we spoke about but I didn't look at you much. I hope you mistook that as adorable shyness. It was actually me annoyed by my nose heh heh.
You walked me to my bus stop and I brought up the other men I was dating at that point. I was drifting in between relationships and the men in my life at that point have all tried arduously for me. You were a fresh breath of un-achievable air. And my god were you tantalizing.
You didn't know then, but after meeting you, everyone else in my life just started to seem painfully dull. I couldn't sit in successful's car without the nagging thought that I could be on a bus with you instead. I couldn't reply sunflower's message without the persistent thought that I could be calling you instead. Everyone else paled quickly in comparison.
Four months ago, if someone had challenged me to make a bet that I would be able to find a great romance again, I would have staked my entire fortune and my fresh pair of lungs against it.
Yet here you are.
Here you are in all your oddness, your excitement, your laziness, your curiosity, your strength, your passion, your loudness, your animation, your intelligence, your wit, your puns, your guts, your adoration and your endless ways to tell me you love me.
What a great stroke of luck for you that my favourite author made me fall in love with constantine. What a fantastic decision for me to check out your instagram and realize that you were a constantine. What a fitting end that I should end up with a man who holds the only name I will ever deem worthy enough for my son.
Oh you amazing man you.
So in case I forget the story of us, here is my recounting of the day I first met you:
I must have been late. You cannot take it personally. I am late to every appointment I ever had. I will probably be late to my own wedding. Moving on.
You were waiting at five and dime; I saw you immediately when I alighted the cab. I tried to look as presentable as I could even though my nose thing was killing me. I made a mental note to turn on all my charms and waltzed in.
You looked up as I sat down. I saw your anchor necklace and thought, "ha this man must have had black nail polish at one time". The second thought was on how cheesy your coat was. But I said none of that. We chatted and the waiter came with the chamomile tea in a bit. I thought that was the sweetest gesture ever.
I forgot what we talked about, but you had the most gorgeous, mega-watt smile. It wasn't a boring, gentle smile. It was a very tongue-in-cheek and playful one. You looked like you had fire in your soul and I loved it.
We talked and for the life of me I can't remember what it was exactly, but one way or another it made me want to extend our date and so I asked you to have dessert with me elsewhere.
We walked and I found myself bothered by your height. It was the first time in eight years where I didn't have to break my neck to look up and talk to a date, but it felt so.. comfortable. You were intelligent and lively. You were such a charm. And you looked absolutely delicious that night.
We didn't find a place in clarke quay but I excused myself to go to the washroom to change my cardigon. When I came out, you didn't give a reaction but as we walked to the bus stop, you said simply, "I like your hair better like that" and I smiled heh heh.
We took the first bus I saw. I told you I knew where we were going but obviously I didn't. You figured that out though heh heh. You spoke vibrantly and passionately about something, was it batman? You cared enough about the topic to bounce off the seat, to put an arm out and look at me to re-iterate it.
It was the first time I met a man more animated than myself and my god was it interesting. Usually I am the one with the big actions and spontaneity; you are the first man who was immediately larger-than-life than I was. What a curiosity.
We had haagen dazs and you looked lazy and comfortable, stretched out in the chair opposite me. I forgot what we spoke about but I didn't look at you much. I hope you mistook that as adorable shyness. It was actually me annoyed by my nose heh heh.
You walked me to my bus stop and I brought up the other men I was dating at that point. I was drifting in between relationships and the men in my life at that point have all tried arduously for me. You were a fresh breath of un-achievable air. And my god were you tantalizing.
You didn't know then, but after meeting you, everyone else in my life just started to seem painfully dull. I couldn't sit in successful's car without the nagging thought that I could be on a bus with you instead. I couldn't reply sunflower's message without the persistent thought that I could be calling you instead. Everyone else paled quickly in comparison.
Four months ago, if someone had challenged me to make a bet that I would be able to find a great romance again, I would have staked my entire fortune and my fresh pair of lungs against it.
Yet here you are.
Here you are in all your oddness, your excitement, your laziness, your curiosity, your strength, your passion, your loudness, your animation, your intelligence, your wit, your puns, your guts, your adoration and your endless ways to tell me you love me.
What a great stroke of luck for you that my favourite author made me fall in love with constantine. What a fantastic decision for me to check out your instagram and realize that you were a constantine. What a fitting end that I should end up with a man who holds the only name I will ever deem worthy enough for my son.
Oh you amazing man you.
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