Redder than blood

My best decision for this week is dyeing my hair red again. 

So fucking empowering it has to border on insanity.

The past few weeks haven't been too bad for me, but today has to be the most fucking productive of all. I have been putting off updating my carousell for so long that honestly, the idea of restarting it scared me a little. 

The newly-minted redhead that is me decided to just fuck it and fail gloriously. But things panned out and I ended up with a lot of happy clinched deals. Small, small amounts but it made me happy.

Early on, I was scouring for scoot vouchers and when it fucked up on me, I broke into tears and called their customer service hotline and tried to reason with three operators before surrendering.

Throughout this good one hour of crying and weeping, I grew to realize two things quickly:

1. How much $80 now means to me

2. How life simply does not give a fuck

In between handling scoot's operator and fervently refreshing the scoot page, I had to constantly go back and reply to the carousell prompts. This is while I continued crying and blaming myself for my carelessness.

Did any business stop for me because my insides were weeping? No. Am I glad I replied all of my inquiries even though I was sobbing like a witch? Yes. Did I get my intended returns? Yes, yes I did.

I managed to compensate the accidental $80 I lost on scoot with carousell in the same time frame. This is little about the amount - this is an accidental reaffirmation of how much I love doing business.

At 8pm, I fucked up on scoot and changed their operator and asked to be patched through higher ups and cried miserably when I failed and cursed the $100 voucher I was left with.

By 8.30pm, I had managed to recuperate my losses through carousell and had decided to take the $100 voucher as a sign that I should go to tokyo alone heh heh heh I will never learn.

Half an hour is a pretty long time to cry but then I was upset over some other things too so as the chinese say, "Sun bian lor". Why my scoot tickets like that. Why my weight bounce back. Why never get the webmaster post. Etc.

Sidenote: if you are furiously googling "how to cancel scoot booking ni na bei" or similar, don't bother. My booking was placed but I managed to block my card before they could withdraw the amount, and when I called to cancel/ modify the booking, I was met with a, "Oh you can pay at the counter no worries. No cancellation as well."

So please do not be trigger-happy like me and read everything carefully before pressing "woohoo payment". Also I will never, ever step onto a scoot flight again. Except for when I claim tokyo. 

Anyway, the point is, I like this. I like being forced back to perspective when I'm upset. I like an anchor reminding me a better reality awaits. I like being ripped out of my emotions and into potential happier deals.

But as I write this, the compulsion to write, "But most of all, I like writing" comes even though it doesn't fit into the paragraph well. The writer inside me is really keen on spreading the word. SHUT UP PSEUDO CLEMENTINE VON RADICS.

S n o r e .