Why is fit-shaming okay?

This post is long over due.

When I started my fitness journey 7 months ago, it was sudden but intense. I started going for a shit ton of classes and hence most of my Instagram photos became about my classes.

Of course people are encouraging in the comments. Everyone tells me how great I look and how strong I am. But that's not really the point. I'm only happy when I finally look great and feel strong to myself. But still, I appreciated it.

Then of course, my account started getting attention from Sginstababe, Lunchclick and Stomp. The attention led to me getting small sponsored advertorials  and two interviews on me as a lifestyle blogger.

The first interview request came from a Ngee Ann polytechnic student. She was insanely polite and so I provided her the longest answers. In the end, only one line I said made it to her paper. I was somewhat discouraged from the idea of accepting interviews after her.

But the second interview request came from an Nanyang Technological University student. Her email wasn't very well-crafted and so I sent her workingwithgrace's excellent blogspot on how to approach influencers, as well as my full answers to her interview questions. She graciously accepted my advice and my answers. I thought she handled it excellently.

And so, happy with my experience, I posted a snapchat of her email to me. I made sure her name was obscured. To be honest, I was quite happy to be interviewed.

Then, someone bought up how braggy it was. And try as I did to not let it bother me, it did.

So here's the full bit-by-bit blow:









I can brag because I deserve it.

Who are you to whine that I'm bragging?

I got attention - be it features or interview request - from not just my posts, but from my writings too, both of which took me time and effort.

I didn't just wake up with a body with this range of capabilities. I worked day in day out to make my body as perfect as I could. Do you know how long I have been working out to reach where I am today? Okay la just 7 short months but it was daily, and it took a heavy toll on my life.

But that's just the physical part.

After each class, I'd diligently review them on my website so that newcomers to their fitness journey can know which studio suits their needs. Do you know how long I have been blogging before it finally took off? 10 years. (To be fair, my blog took off once in 2007 when I dated this senior from my school lol my tagboard went haywire. It died down after we broke up and I dated a normal dude.)

Till today, I'm still working on both those things.

And you so easily went, 'Sheesh people and their bragging, just stop already.'

Up you and your mum's.

We all waste time in different ways. You waste time going to cafes and taking pretentious photos. He wastes time playing computer games and skyping about it with his friends. She wastes time drinking like her father and taking blindingly vain snapchats of it. I waste time doing workouts even though I know I won't be the next Singapore Olympian.

So what?

You don't see me dissing cafes, you don't see me dissing my boyfriend's dota, you don't see me dissing clubs nor pubs and why?

Because it's your choice.

I choose to work out, okay lor that's my problem I like to suffer. You choose to visit cafes, okay lor that's your problem we all like to eat. He choose to play computer games, okay lor that's his problem ARCANE WA HE ULTI TWICE (the only words I learnt from my boyfriend's incessant shouting at night) She choose to take doggie snapchats of her drinking, okay lor that's a drinking problem but aren't we all problematic.

But somehow, I get dissed for working out.

Do you know why?

Because this is becoming part of an acceptable trend. See, we have started accepting gay couples, black folks, fat people. We have started accepting so many things. But, as if the entire world cannot stomach the concept of concurrently liking two things at once, we have to despise the other.

Gay couples! Yay go ahead, love out loud! Black folks! Yay go ahead, make sure of yourseleves and white people and get away with both! Fat people! Yay go ahead, call skinny girls 'bitches' and shame fit girls saying we don't know how to be comfortable in our own skin!

???

(Do you see the ironic truth lol, we really aren't comfortable in our own skin that's why we constantly try to shed as much as we can. You, on the other hand, really should learn to be less comfortable in yours.)

Also a disclaimer: I am really the most accepting person ever when it comes to this. It is partially because my rash teenage years led me to meet A LOT of questionable people and I've learnt from them that there's an innate goodness in everyone. I only cannot tolerate people who cannot tolerate.

Back to this: Unlike the rest who were born into it or found their way to it, I actually did things to be fit.

See you're mocking me, telling me I'm braggy, downplaying my efforts.

Then why not you do it?

You work as hard as I did, as I am, get to where I am, then tell me I'm bragging. If you can't or you won't, then you shouldn't deserve to bitch about me.

I don't go up to a bodybuilder and tell them they're bragging when they show off their muscles on Instagram because 1) I secretly want to lick them and 2) I respect the time they took to get here. I don't unlike well-taken food photos on my timeline because 1) I cannot take good photos for the life of me and I accept that's a legit skill and 2) it simply doesn't bother me,

So why would you go out of your way to bitch on me being braggy?

If you don't want to respect me as a person, can you at least respect the effort?

The path to being fit isn't just me.

The path to being fit means I couldn't make love to my boyfriend because some days, my body is so sore I can't even lift my legs after class. I would hate myself for disappointing him but that's that. I can't stay away from class just to make love to him. My fitness came first. Literally came first hahah sorry boyfriend. Okay but to be fair, that's just the first 6 months. Now my body is stronger and I have learnt how to save enough energy to tap into when I need to give him some loving :D

The path to being fit means I cannot eat my grandma's cooking as much as she'd like me to. I see the disappointment in her face when I say I no longer like nuggets, even though I said again and again it's because of my diet not because she's a bad cook. My fitness came first. I had to settle for eating three spoons of rice then stop because if not, I'd be too bloated to go for class after.

The path to being fit means I exercise a great deal of unnecessary control at home. I'd come home looking dog-tired and hungry from class and my concerned mum would offer to cook me rice, toast me bread, buy me my favourite egg tarts, and I'll have to say no to all that. My fitness came first. I have to keep my temper in check because I wasn't hungry till she said it and now it's worse but it's not her fault but I'm so frayed from a whole day already and I can't think straight.

The path to being fit means staying up later than usual at night because I'm so hungry and my stomach is rumbling and my legs are sore and my arms are tired and my whole body is begging to be nourished unhealthily and not be punished with class further. But my fitness came first. I go to morning classes on an empty stomach and survive the next 4 hours as such. No sacrifice was too great.

So I say this again: if you don't want to respect me as a person, can you at least respect the effort?

Respect that fit people aren't just weight-lifters or yoga practitioners. We are a bunch of sex-rejectors, grandma-upsetters, mum-refusers and self-punishers. Fat people did no work to become fat. But fit folks gave up a lot to get to where they are. If we can't comment on your weight, then you can't bitch on our addiction to movement. We leave you alone, why can't you leave us alone?

Fit-shaming shouldn't be tolerated as much as fat-shaming shouldn't. 

I am working as hard as I honestly can on my body, the last ultimate canvas I have since I can't draw lol but yeah. Why am I being bitched for it? Why am I being judged for it? I allow your bitching and judgement, but you have to get on my level first. If you can't, then just shut your trap. Is that so hard?

Tolerance is simply people accepting each other for who they want to be. I want to be fit, so I do. You want to do this and that, so be it. Why need we interfere and interject our opinions on each other?

It's funny. This whole situation. This is exactly why females will never rise in the world. This is exactly why feminism doesn't have a stronger presence. Do you know why women can never collectively rise to our counterparts?

Because men are never a woman's worst enemy.

It's always our own kind.

The person who bitched about me was a female acquaintance.

Come to think about it, most of my female friends did discourage me at the beginning of my journey. In the end, it was a stronger reflection of what they cannot do. 'Gymnastics is too tough Nicole blah blah don't need to try.' yeah ok.

The people who encouraged me, very consistently, on this journey were all my male friends. Granted, they probably just wanted to lay me but when they get do technical with their advice for me, I genuinely understand they genuinely do respect my efforts and try to aid me further in it.

Women. If I could do this life all over again, I'd join the enlightened side.

But that's another post for another day.