Today I feel

Sad.

Because till now you still don't understand that all I need is your love to conquer the world.

Happy.

Because you listened to me cry my eyes out as you apologized.

Lost.

Because the man I love said he can't do this anymore.

Found.

Because the man I need says he will love me forever.

Strong.

Because the thought of leaving you is less fearsome now.

Weak.

Because I forgot I can't turn to you anymore if I leave you.

-

But I cannot be the downtrodden forever.

This is a factor.

And this will always be a factor.

Your family forgets that she was the one who let another penis penetrate her when she was four years deep in a relationship with you. Your relatives forget that she was the one who left you when you enlisted, vulnerable and aching. Your friends forget that she was the one who tried to make you wait around for her while she sampled other cum on her tongue.

But most of all.

Everyone with your blood and your memories forgot that the minute she saw you having another chance at love, she took all the venom she could gather and took a stab at it. She came in between and tried to convince me that I'm just wasting my time with you and shamed me on her blog, all the while being attached to the man she fucked after you.

This is the woman you loved.

And this is the woman your world chooses over me.

How should I feel?

Am I lower than her?

Because why else would I not be the better choice?

You were ready to give me up because your family and relatives disapproved. You were ready to do this sail without me and to leave me in my self-torment alone. You said your family and relatives mean the world to you. You were ready to choose them over me.

But did they choose her over you?

Because why else would they still keep in contact with her?

Why would they choose to keep in contact with the girl who betrayed you and broke the very foundation of trust you now have in all future relationships, including with me? Do they know I have to pick up the pieces after her?

Why can't they see in trying to save you, I've giving up bits of myself? I am breaking down in my bid to rebuild you, after she destroyed like as if you were nothing more than the gum beneath her shoe.

Instead, I'm at the receiving end of this cosmic joke. I am the one trying my best to get your family to like me, to get your relatives to approve of me, when at the end of the day they still associate themselves with the girl who held another cock in her mouth as she kissed you the next day.

And all of these, all of these right after she reinstated what she knew would burn me the most.

I'm above her.

I will always be above her.

I cannot sugar coat this the way you did because I've fucking had enough. 

Your family, relatives and friends continue to side the one who fucked another man while holding your heart, while here I am giving you my all even though you take out her betrayal on me. And this cannot continue.

If they cannot see that I am the one who finally made you happy again,

If they cannot see that the cunt doesn't deserve to be in their lives anymore,

If they cannot wait for me to go and for her to come back, then I'll do it.

Then there's nothing more I can do.

I will not be the downtrodden forever.