This pill got banned in early May. And so the precious two bottles I acquired last year are all I have left. And this ban is my biggest motivation to finish my pills. No more failing. No more stock already. Money can't save me here.
I was looking forward to wear this top for the longest time and it turned out to be loose AT WHERE I AM THE ABSOLUTE SLIMMEST -- MY WAIST. My happiest body part laid to rest while my arms hogged the spotlight.
My face is a homage to fish balls Jesus Christ.
Work is getting more and more unpredictable and the new tasks keep surmounting but I AM LOVIN' IT!
This job is practically my degree scholarship. All the things I want to learn, I'm learning hands-on, with little guidance, to real-time results. I am building the formula to success with my hyper-farsighted manager and god is it thrilling.
Anddd after work was Candice.
I am fucking thankful for her.
We had quite a lot of silence at first because I was feeling moody with my woes. In all my years of knowing her, she's always been very dissociated with relationships so I thought she probably didn't want to be bothered with my tales.
But then I cracked and went on the longest fucking rant. She interjected at all the right points with the most acute observations and the appropriate "what the fuck"s in my favor. Then her brutal honesty buay tahan'ed and she cracked too.
She condensed everything I ranted into a simple analogy. In her analogy, she outlined the correct way I should be doing things. Within 2.8 minutes, she sorted out close to 28 weeks of my pent-up rage. I finally woke the fuck up.
How amazing is it that this woman, who's never had a relationship all her life, just saved mine?
But at the point of telling the story to her, I was still in a single-laned fury so I tried to absorb as much of her words without immediately dissing it as impossible and I don't want to type it fully here so here are a few trigger lines for my use.
"It's a straight lined journey from point A to point G. Why'd you have to start at point A, bitch and rage and encircle points B, C, D, E, F so manically when you could've just walked straight to point G?"
"All these that you do, you self-sought. Why do you get to punish him for your own stupidity?"
"I see no light in her relationship. She is pathetically holding onto a past while her boyfriend lets her do it in his face. She is miserable and he is spineless. Let them be free to be unhappy."
Quick interruptus: at this part, I was full-on raging about the boyfriend's lack of control over Gabriel's ex-girlfriend and after showing her what I mean, she told me the line above. But there was a dramatic pause where she said, "and he is..." and we looked at each other and said "SPINELESS" in unison.
What a Hall of Fame telepathic bitch moment.
"Being pathetic is not the same as being defiant. You seeing it as defiance will give her power, so stop it."
"You've already won."
"The irony is that her consolation prize looks better than your boyfriend. But the final triumph is that despite so, she still wants your boyfriend back this desperately. And he chose you."
What a beautiful wake-up call.
This was only part one of my mess. Part two is a lot harder to salvage and had a lot of crueler advice from Candice that will stick because well, they're straight-up cutting. But I pen down the kinder words only because I forget them easier.
It felt so good. It felt so, so wonderful that for the first time since Gabriel sailed, I laughed easily and happily as we mocked every ridiculous detail about my situation, especially the idiocy she calls my actions.
We ended up hogging our Xin Wang booth for almost four hours, with her eating most of our pasta because I was too busy bitching my god THIS IS HER STRATEGY I must do this back to her the next time. She pulled a fast one indeed.
Home has never felt so refreshingly good.
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