Afternoon date with hazel!

Bought stuff again that I may potentially never wear (sigh) and the whole day was hazel being pissed with herself for looking old and not being able to look good in some clothes. I'll never understand how a pretty mind works.

Tried to go home but NOOO STUPID WOMAN HAS NO STRENGTH TO OPEN A WATER BOTTLE, BUT ENOUGH STRENGTH TO DRAG 40KG LITERALLY FROM BUKIT PANJANG INTERCHANGE TO THE LRT STATION. SO MUCH FOR HER USUAL FRAILNESS!

No joke I was hugging every solid structure I see and slamming my foot into the concrete ground but the woman just pulled and pulled and openly scammed my way into the lrt then dragged me back home.

We ended up chilling at her place as I predicted (sigh.)





Her place is like my new haven now.

Apparently she has an aircon wtf I've been there half of my 19 yo life and I never realized all these time it was working, she's just too DAMN LAZY TO REACH UP AND TURN IT ON and only did so to prolong my visit to her house what a sly thing. She also has a radio and a good CD collection (approves.)

She grudgingly released me at 11pm hahah.

{ prologue: }

Yesterday afternoon.. was the first time me and my grandmother talked about my great-grandmother's death. She talked happily and surely and I heard her voice crack before she stopped. I said there's no longer any afternoon calls, because now she can talk to my her in her heart and they'll both hear it.

Even I know that's not true.

(I'm getting a very physical headache now.)

11:59: I composed a long tearful message to siewsia wishing her happy birthday. At this point the great emotional toll has taken, my thoughts became poisonous, thank god for junwei and hazel being there.

Why do I still try to invest in old friends when I already have my family and my current group of friends? I know I welcome too few people into my life permanently. I can in a moment burn the bridges behind me and of any guyfriend who tries and fails, but I can't do that to my old girlfriends.

Maybe I should. So when I think of our happy past, I won't remember all the times I tried reaching out only to have you piss on my efforts. But even saying this now, I know doubtlessly that if you all returned, I'll forget everything wrong you've done to me and ask you to stay longer this time a'round.

Maybe that's how I am. People I love, used to and now, can set fire to my legs and I'll just ask them to bring poker cards when they visit me handicapped in a hospital. What a depressing image but I've digressed.

All I need is my family and my 4am friends, everyone else can fuck off.