"But then I feel guilty for wanting to avoid the sadness; the dead needs us to remember them, even if it eats us, even if all we can do is say I'm sorry until it is as meaningless as air." — Audrey Niffenegger, The Time Traveller's Wife

This book taught me too much.

Today's a damned good day and a great reminder of my participation in an affair that was bigger than myself and this universe. I don't think the world knows enough how I think of you, I don't think this world will ever be satiated in it's hunger for you, and I don't think you yourself know the Adonis you are to me. You truly took my breath away when I saw you today.



Shy sidenote: It feels like I'm constantly out of words to tell you how much of a metaphysical perfection you are, you're truly God's favourite toy. How else can there be any higher realm of stunning when you've optimized all 180cm of you?

Being with you really guarantees a blessed day.

Headed home after a great spent day and walked around lot1 by myself, talked to aunties and found weird food and basically spent a good time with myself. I should do that more often at the risk of appearing crazed.

Also because I was in a rush, I had to take a cab. And so for the first time in my life, I had a long, meaningful and absolutely intended cabbie talk! He seems like a very smart man, drawing inferences about my family from my personality. NOT SMART ENOUGH TO TAKE A $15 ROUTE THOUGH >:(



Digressing, perfect views with a perfect you.

Of late, I like to explore places. I like to go to high spots and make myself comfortable. There's something about mid-dusk skies and good company that's highly addictive. Makes me realize again and again with varying clarity how small this world is.

I don't know why I feel this way, but I like very much how I am now. I have time, I have friends, I have special friends, I have my family, I have things I like to do. I feel devastatingly broken when things go wrong and I'm alone, but I feel refreshingly powerful when I fix it or get over it myself without help.

I don't like to taint my blog with dis-pleasantries, but lately it seems that people in my life are demanding too much out of me. Demanding answers, demanding efforts, demanding time, demanding possesion, demanding demanding demanding. So here's the guide to me.

1) I hate feeling like I'm obligated.

I don't need to bother with your problems nor your insecurities nor your demands. Whatever you are facing means batshit to me. It's painstakingly plain that you are no priority in my life -- so back off. Men are built to be strong, damning survive your issues, don't expect me to help.

2) I hate feeling like my decisions are made for me

My relationship decisions are set in stone; they are crisp, to the point, and a sentence. I have tasted a god for an ex-boyfriend and I'm hungry for nothing less, don't ponder what ifs. There is no situation to better your question -- it's just a a simple matter of me choosing between no, fuck no, oh no, sorry no, um no, but no, really no, motherfucking get it into your head no.

3) I hate being a property

I don't belong to anyone, and I definitely will not stoop to letting myself belong to people I want out of my life. I think I'm pretty damned clear with my personality. I like being free, being untimely. Hell if I'll answer to you, even my parents don't ask that of you, who the fuck are you?

4) I hate being assumed I'm stupid

The last thing you want to happen is for me to understand whatever you're doing better than you do. Say your terms and give me your theories, there will be no incomprehension. I enjoy knowledge, and thankfully I'm gifted with common sense so do not ever assume lowly of me. It'll be the stupidest thing you can do.

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I saw this tweet on my list.

Something about why be a good guy when all girls want are bad guys, aka "fuckers".

Son, this is the truest sentence you'll ever see: Bad boys are what they are because they can afford to. Being a "fucker" is expensive membership. Do you know what with they sign up? With their looks, with their bodies, with their charm. Can you pay for all that?  

This is really clear man, I don't know why no one else sees it.

Besides the occasional exceptions, have you ever seen a destitute man or a less than average guy getting fought for? Isn't it every other handsome stunner that's causing fights and heartbreaks in their paths of destruction?

This world is beautiful and because it is so, it is addicted to the beautiful. It gives them more than they'll ever need. Anybody will be omnipotent with beauty and charm. And of course, normal mortals like us will try with all our lives to have them.

Sexy men, handsome men, charming men can afford to be personality defected because they are delicious in whatever they do. If a dude can look good killing an ant, he's going to look good treating you as if you're disposable, and he's definitely going to look good on your "guys who can treat me like absolute shit but I'd still run over my parents for" list.

So yeah man, moral of the story, know your place.