You were unimpressed in the capabilities of two girls taking on that stretch. I tried to suss out your interest but you had none. I wondered if you were the right man for me after all, because I always thought the man I eventually marry will be a man as keenly hungry for a life well-lived as I am, the way you said you were in your first gift to me on the date we begun. You continued on your tirade about how dangerous it is that this train is so near the Ukraine.
I fell silent and you realized.
You went on about bombings for a bit more, and then you said yes.
I thought I misheard you. But you said yes. You said all you said just now was to deter me, to check if I truly had my mind set on it. I doubt that was what you were going for but I went along with it because after that, you held my hand and told me I was silly to believe you'd let me take this journey alone.
And my heart beamed.
We went for our iFly flight after that.
I watched you climb into your suit as you watched the other fliers in the tunnel. You weren't especially keen on iFly, but you came anyway because I was excited about it. And I saw you smile when they did a trick.
And I wondered if that was what love and marriage is about - finding the one person that you want to experience everything with. Finding the one person who would do anything with you. Finding the one person made for you. Finding you.
We had dinner at my favorite Xin Wang after that.
We spoke about your ex. You said in the first six months of the relationship, you got bored and I asked if that's why you cheated in the middle. You declined to answer. And you said towards the last two years, it felt as if the relationship was going nowhere.
And then you held me and said it's different with me. You said with me, you want a future. You said with me, I don't get tiresome and you still want to go home and see me in your bed every night. You said with me, Dota becomes more fun because you know I'm on your bed whining for your attention. You said with me, you watch Friends because it's the one thing that helps when you miss me.
You said I was your sun, your moon, and all your stars.
And I said that was my favourite line from E.E. Cummings.
But you refused to read his version. You finished yours. I can't remember what it is about, but you said something about shining. And it reminded me of a little tidbit I wrote years ago, before I knew E.E. Cummings, before I knew you. It was a line I wanted to dedicate to somebody, anybody, but I never could find anyone worthy.
You are the sun, the moon, and all my stars,
You are the light in which I shine by
And I will love you forever.
I truly will.
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