First is the euphoric sense of involvement. I get so excited at having wonderful colleagues and nice supervisors that I am blinded and become mighty accustomed to the idea of having a job.
Second is the settling down where I start to do my work and beyond, taking initiative whenever I can and wearing myself out.
Third is when I have finally worn myself out and am now wondering why the fuck am I here, why am I not doing better and why am I taking so long to pay my dues.
And there here's fourth: escaping to the toilet for a minute of solace before I head back to work.
And the most depressing part: my job is easy. I've had incredible luck finding decent paying jobs that are truly interesting. My mum's, my dad's jobs are a 100x more boring than this and yet they live with it everyday, terrified of retirement because me and my siblings simply cannot provide yet.
Shit man there has to be a better way. I must carve a better way.
Today I met my magic man and he had the most darling gift for me.
I had been stressed out at work and it led to me greeting him coldly when we first saw each other. He canoodled and fussed about me and we went home where I collapsed on his bed.
In the next ten minutes, he hugged me and starved out all my fears and miseries, replacing them with his assurances and soft kisses. He spoke fondly of his love and I held onto him like he was my oxygen.
I would never forget that ten minutes of wonder. My god you're a stunning man.
No comments:
Post a Comment