Well.

I started the day meeting my sim mates. For lunch and milo truck hunting and our notes collection, two of which we succeeded and one of each we braved the rain for but failed miserably hahah.

Afterwards, I met an old friend.

I saw your face and it felt like nothing has changed. It feels like it was just yesterday when you collapsed at nex just to prove a moot point and I waited for the collective rush of emotions that never came.

All that settled in was familiarity. A very comforting familiarity that made the world a little better I guess! That for everything that has ravaged my world since, there are still things that stand the test of time.

And for everything in between and everything before and after, it was a nice time. And for what it's worth, I am still thankful that I got to see you and I'm very glad that you've been well.



Well this was the cheesy schtick I was trying to tell you.

I went home. And for a long time I couldn't sleep. Possessed by the idea that I blew my last chance to be happy but hoping half to death that I did not fuck up and eventually I dozed off to much confusion.

The morning after was a fucking mess as I had expected. But now it's 1.07 pm the next day and my demons have gone to sleep. I feel nothing but emptiness and confusion and regret and guilt and woe to whoever tries to interfere with my life at this point.

Reflecting on it now, it seems like there was only one sentence that burned into my mind. Everything that hurt left its impact and everything that was kind left its touch but this one seared in.

"I'm already seeing you in a better light."

Well.

This is to me hopefully uncovering more good lighting.

And this is to me shamelessly believing I'm pretty good for you.

And this is to you - may you always be happy no matter what unfolds here on.