i. 

Words cannot convey how much I love my job.

Seeing the kids everyday so happy, and seeing their drawing talents grow with each lesson, and today, seeing them interpret ballet on water and a chimpanzee family. I doubt I can even do better than them.

I love my kids.

ii.

I'm adjusting badly to something I've been used to since January and it reminds me of loss. And I'm trying hard to fight for it back but of course, I can only clap with a hand for so long.

iii.

Today I also realized that I miss our friendship. We were truly the golden girls December last year and I'll always love and miss you but you've became that person who breaks my ego and I'm brittle enough as it is, I can't let you do that to me anymore. It's either you change or I leave.

And it seems like you won't change.

iv.

I came to learn three things brutally.

That beauty without charisma is useless. You can only fascinate a person for so long before he realizes there's nothing within. In which he'll decide - does he stay to use you, or does he leave in boredom.

That I'm not enough. That if I remain stagnant, then I will start to lose. And there is no point living a life that's only half-lived to the best you can be. I'll be a waste of space and a disgrace to myself.

That visions of you will never fully go away.

v.

I'm missing appointments with friends and I don't like it. Work on my tuition side is getting increasingly unstable and school is starting to come down fast, and even now mcys is clamping down on me hard for cso and appointments. My time is lost and I don't know where it has gone to.

Everything would be so much better if you still were my everything.