The last day of March:




i. Swimming with the family and cousins!

 


ii. Hatched x pool with the drinkers!

Was supposed to try this shots and pool thing but it was a Sunday night, I think it's not 5 o'clock enough for anyone. Souvenirs from tony and kris respectively, thank you! What a well spent Sunday :*

Down with a 3-hour fever and my mind worked itself insane thinking of you by my bed, holding me and protecting me from my grandma and mum's yelling and just stroking me till I slept.

Whaaat a fuck up.

Visited the grandma today!:



Heh heh.

She, naturally, stuffed us with food when we came and probably would try to stuff me with money too but I ran away! She was having a nice time telling us her plans for the week ahead. So happy to finally see her getting back on enjoying life. Nts take her out for dinner soon!













Anddd it was the oddly early siewsia after!

Watched warm bodies and I buay tahan'ed midway the movie and did a google run of the main lead and HE WAS THE SAME GUY IN XMEN: FIRST CLASS WHAT UP. How can someone be so tall and awkward and beautiful ahhhh.

Siewsia was very entertained by the movie hahah so cute. She jumped at some quite scary scene and then pacified herself and laughed at same lame joke awww so cute watching her.

(I am the best girl friend/ boyfriend ever tsk.)



Anddd it was the boys afterwards.

Tristal, junkang, swee and tony were not nice to me and renamed our private whatsapp group as "Nicole: blacklisted" so I shamefully made my way down and it was a nice night of strange confessions.

And you: what a nice way to end the day :)

I always have a lot on my mind.
And seemingly I never do have time to talk about them.

One of it would be my prison stay. I think I'll not end up writing it so I'll just condense it now -

You never truly do see the consequences of your actions till you get to live them. And when I was in my cell, staring at the ceiling, I realize we take all the small things for granted. I never realized how long I've not properly appreciated my room, how long since I've finished food, how long since anyone shouted at me, how long since I lost my personal space which I've came to heavily guard.

Not a bad experience, but I won't want to repeat it ever.

CSO for 8 hours straight and I'm quite pleased!

Met few friends today and they are interesting company. Saw jianhao and he's 8 hours away from completion. I AM THE ONLY ONE STILL SUFFERING UGH. Need to rush.

Our valiant fishing attempts!

Today was my experience as an inmate in the Changi's Women Prison, where I was treated without any self-dignity for 4 hours and I am actually amazed at how much I repented. Honest to god.

I swore I'd write a long post about it but people upsetted me and photos made me want to cry and now it's just a reflection I'll write at the old folks' home tomorrow. I promise it'd be true though.

Sigh.

Finally saw my poly retainer friends. It was super last minute and I had every intention of going to work but last minute Max called and I was down like a ton of really light and directionally organized bricks.

Life is funny. And good :)

Heehee family came to visit :D

Spend the bulk of the day hanging out with them with talking and getting myself updated with their lives. I am determined to re-enter my cousins' lives so WATCH OUT, I AM COMING NO MATTER WHAT.

Was mostly sleeping afterwards. I am very terribly unproductive today. On a self-promoting note, I wrote Kaiqin's SIT application essay for her. On a un-self-promoting one, I slept twice heh heh.

I have nothing interesting to say!

Flea day with Sherlyn and Tristal helping!



















Had a great time with the girls!

It was the lowest sales I've had in a long while but they made it much better. I can't remember the last time I truly saw the both of them in sunlight and it feels nice to spend time not drinking, just talking :)

(erases all my sad talk on how you used to come with me)

HUAT HUAT FOR NEXT WEEK!

"I love how she makes me feel like anything's possible, like life's worth it."



Really enjoyed my 3-hour tuition today heh.

Spent much of the day lazing around with the family. Probably watched whose line is it anyway and other pointless stuff before finally packing for the flea tomorrow. Here's to a good one!

Went to work today and received news of my colleague's leaving.

I really like her and I was genuinely sad but she's determined and she really needs a break after so long too. Heard news of her breakup and my sadness went up a notch higher.

I hate hearing about breakups. It seems like this March is a horrible one. 2 of my closest friends just went through with theirs and now even my colleague is going through with hers.

It makes me lose faith.

And it makes me feel like nothing has a point anymore.

 

On a lighter note;

Dinner with the sister after @ Ajisen's!

I can do alone pretty well now heh.













Went to the beach by myself!

Was there just for the sights at first, never realized the beach has all these nice sounds till I recorded a video. So as it turns out, Sentosa is sights and sounds and it heals the soul.

Had a series of painful memories replaying at both palawan and siloso beach and it took surprisingly little to walk them away. Also had to walk away a lot of stares hahah the weirdest people at the beach.

I didn't read my book, I wrote a line instead of sketching it, and I took 500 photos HAHAH this poet/ artist thing will never work out for me until I stop being so obsessed with my camera apps HEHEHE.

I think I'm not very good at anything honestly. I can't draw well, can't sing well, can't cook well, yadayada, but I really do try to improve. MAYBE ONE DAY GOD WILL TAKE PITY ON ME AND GIVE ME LEGENDARY SKILLS HEHE. Till then I'll just do my thing.

Night with the folks and god knows I love all of them.



There were a series of photos on everyone's phone of the night's highlights and most of them are not very post-able so HAHAH the only good one for the night. YINGHUI'S FACE IS SO SHARP IT CUTS.

Had a really good time, thank god for friends like you all.

Some nights.

Made you feel so much less than you really were.



You cloud my thoughts and you ruin me.
I must've done the same to you for the 1 year we were together.

Doing my time. You see, I do wonder how you are.
All the time.

Some nights are harder than the others.
Some nights are easier.
Some nights, I don't feel a thing.

But there's not a night I don't think of you.

You in all your glaring perfection.
You and how you loved.
You, when you were mine.

I watch movies.
I watched The Vow.

I never watched romance with you.
I was always scared I'll remember a happier time.
But I never knew,
I was never happier than when I was with you.

"She just, she just sort of exhaled it, it was almost to herself. "I love you". It just hung there. The first time she had said it, I didn't even want to respond, I just wanted to keep hearing it."

I will always remember the night I told you I love you.

The first time I ever said it first to anybody.
The first time I didn't get it back.

You were my first date 7 years ago.
And I pray to god you'll be my last.

Oh when you were mine.

Part I:

Happy belated birthday Su An!

Spent a wonderful day with the girls trying to skate and charming instructors together and almost falling (that one applies only to me) and feeling stupid with my non-practical outfit hahah. Frozen stomach.





















Part II:

Happy birthday tengyi!

All of them heartless things forgot tengyi's birthday because he removed it from fb, so I managed to get all of them to come out anddd we had a nice dinner, a nice beer, over nice conversation @ holland v!











Stupid man better have read my card.

What a nice day.