Let me in

Fuck me I love my hair.





Boyfriend says it is vital to know how incredibly bored he is while helping me take photos, hence the above.







Bowled a bit at West Coast before heading to Bugis.

Last week, I brazenly said I wanted to watch 10 Cloverfield Lane. I don't know why I was such an idiot. Gabriel took it quickly and bought us tickets for it. And I ended up spending half the movie squeezing his arm to shreds and covering my eyes with his jacket. My God I am a pussy.

I was so disturbed that I couldn't enjoy anything after that. I didn't dare to go to the toilet alone and tried to drag him in with me. He was unimpressed. He ended up kindly watching Shrek (he hates Shrek) with me till I fell asleep, because I told him I needed it to wash out the movie.

It worked! Instead of being scared half to death, I ended up crying over Shrek LOL. I was so sobby that Gabriel had to stop dotaing and come over to pat me till I fell asleep. My boyfriend's patience is award-winning.

So that's Saturday.

Feeling the blues

Today I watched The Secret Life of Walter Mitty with my baby brother.

Hours of SNL at work has ensured that I fall in irrevocable love with Kristen Wiig. I remember loving the movie when I first watched it but after I rediscovered she's in it, I gave it another go.

It was, if possible, more beautiful than the first time I saw it.

The landscape is one. Ben Stiller's inspiring character progression is two. Kristen Wiig's poignant rendition of Major Tom is three. But the scene that reached into my heart was the scene of him skating to Sean O'connell.

We are tied down to things. Be it responsibilities or lovers, we are tied down. As is Walter Mitty. But for that enchanting moment, he managed to let everything go and soak in the beauty of our Earth.

Singapore doesn't have much of a view, which is rich coming from me. I am probably the only Singaporean who can tell you I genuinely enjoy being here because I think our little island is sincerely interesting. But view-wise, we are handicapped.

And so, maybe I can satiate my thirst for a view to remember in NYC.

Does what I'm saying make sense?

I am ready

7am and super charging my headstand.

To be honest, I cheated haha.

I can't get up by myself. I managed to maybe once or two, but that's because it was more of momentum and not true core strength (like my tripod headstand), I can't control it. So I tip over a lot. This one was aided up by my sister.

But the nice thing is once I'm up, I can hold for minutes and not feel any strain at all. The nicer thing is that momentum, while hard to control, can be maintained as long as I don't fear the sudden weightlessness. So I'll work on both that.











Something amazing happened in class today.

My wheel stopped hurting!

My wheel used to fucking hurt like a slut. If you read me long enough, then you must have read the creative slew of insults I regularly spit at this pose. I can't do it. My back murders me each time I try. I hate it beyond words.

But today, today it was beautifully fine. It no longer hurt as much as before. I took a photo to check out my progress and while it looks like there isn't much (I did it without stretching first so maybe), I'm still glad THE PAIN IS GONE.

I used to hate this pose Jesus Christ, now I think I might actually work with it more.

Woohoo what a magical day.









Date night with the best.

Baby had been secretive all week about where he was going to bring me tonight. I managed to pry it out of him a few days back heh heh. So here we are at Wala Wala, in the heart of Holland Village.

He made a big fuss over dedicating a song to me. His friend, the live singer on stage, was so shy that he couldn't look up and hence missed all of Gabriel's wild gestures for his attention. In the end, he just shouted, 'play Marry Me!' and when that went unheard, he shouted again 'ok whatever just dedicate anything to Nicole!'

My public-glare-unfazed baby :)

Another one bites the dust

Goodbye Jie-e :(

My workplace has been incredibly shaky this week. Belle left two days ago, Jie-e is leaving today, and Brendan may be bringing forward his last day to this week. It all feels chaotic and surreal. I hope next week the dust will settle.

I once remembered thinking I'm fine at work even though sometimes I'm bored out of my mind because I've been sufficiently Stockholm syndromed by having colleagues that have became good friends to me. Now, the grip on me lessens.

If I were to find a redeeming factor n losing them, it is in that for every colleague I lose, is every new factor I can wield like a weapon against the war in my mind, on whether to fight or take flight.

And right now, it's screaming take fucking flight.

On farewells

Goodbye my favourite girl.

Belle was one of the first girls I truly opened up to, by accident, because we happened to be taking a train to the red line. And along the way, I found out how warm she is to us, and how fiery she can be to management.

I take solace in that at least I'll get to see her again for the Viper run! But I dread the office days up ahead when both her and Jie-e finishes their term here.

Isn't it adorable? They are both Jie-e/yee (pronounced the same way) and they both left within a week. Mandy and Shu stayed, and they are both Liews, so I can start making puns about how kind they are to liew xia lai with me hahaha.

My pun game is bleak and torturous.

 

 

 

 

My God my vanity.

And I remember when I met him
It was so clear that he was the only one for me
We both knew right away

And as the years went on things got more difficult, 
We were faced with more challenges
I begged him to stay, 
Tried to remember what we had in the beginning
He was charismatic, magnetic, electric, and everybody knew him 
When he walked in every woman's head turned
Everyone stood up to talk to him.
He was like this hybrid, this mix of a man who couldn't contain himself
I always got the sense that he became torn between being a good person and missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as him

And in that way, I understood him.

And I loved him, I loved him, I loved him, I loved him
And I still love him, I love him

Maybe once, but not anymore.

5.30am in the morning

Sometimes, I don't know how I do it.

Woke up today because the boyfriend was in a flurry over losing his cigarettes and misplacing his sanity. I rolled around refusing to help, instead opening my arms and cooing repeatedly till he came to nap for a bit with me.

After a while, he got up to leave for work and I hurried after him to the door (in tiny steps that he always adoringly smiles at) to wave goodbye. And he looked at me wistfully and whispered, "Lock the door properly ok you always anyhow lock and never close the door."

I am dating the modern Romeo.











Today's class is not for the faint hearted.

Sunrise yoga turned out to be a lot more intense than I thought. We did like 24 sun salutations across a 45 minute period. Almost one every two minutes, and that's not yet including the warrior salutations. But I realize it is only in fast, repeated sequences do my form start to glide.

Towards the end, I was tired but I had fine-tuned the flow so perfectly already that I pushed on to include Strala's signature beauty into each of the moves. I would note that it is amazing how I can be half-asleep in class and still not fall over in warrior two variations.

Rest of the day spent in a flurry, saved only when Gabriel called me from his ship for a bit, telling me to clear my Thursday for a surprise.

Now I have something to look forward to again!

Review: D'Flow

Brother raised an impressed eyebrow at my 3s hold!

I was extremely restless the whole of today because I was nervous and scared for contemporary class. I don't remember ever being this nervous for yoga (but then again, yoga is quite a solo sport and dance is showcase) so I was jittery as fuck.

I arrived on time but was told the class started half an hour ago (seriously KFit) and so I clarified myself, showing the instructor what my app said and she let me enter the class. She warned that the class was 8 weeks deep into the class and so I might not be able to catch up.

But I DID!



Don't judge from this pls, I had no clue what I was doing at the beginning.







My favourite 'wild thing' inspired move.





The class learnt sashay last week so they were doing welllll while I was slipping a little lol.

But all in all, I'd say it was a great class. The instructor, Fiona, was genuinely nice. Her niceness and keenness to teach exuded in every move and every patient pointer offered. I had an amazing time, even though the class was completely brand new to me.









After today, I'm really sure contemporary is the one for me.

For a while, I struggled. I tried popping and hip hop and all that jazz (geddit!) but none of them worked out. They kept bringing me back to my contemporary trial with Sherrill a long time ago, and I kept thinking about how graceful that was, even though I didn't like it then.

Fast forward one contemporary pole class and contemporary course later, I'm certain this is the one for me. Either this, or something ridiculously exotic that uses a lot of yoga and strokes like sensuality in every move. Hopefully I get the hang of it soon!

Baby met me after that and we headed to Suntec for Asia Xpedition.











Honored to have been crash coursed by Suzie Ming of Acro Polates!

It was my first time doing hoops with so many people watching and obviously, I couldn't pass up a chance to be showy hahaha. I told her I'm not new to lyra, and so she taught me the harder moves. I learnt more moves in that 5 minutes than an hour at Milan hahah.

But then again, it's a crash course so.

















After that was thrashing Gabriel at shooting! :D

I was the blue one and he was the yellow! I was on an amazing row hahah. He said he was taking his time slowing aiming when his instructor yelled THE GIRL IS CLEARING ALREADY! and he looked up and realized I was eating into his row already.

He was so adorable heh heh. I spent the rest of the day teasing him about it.

Slept happy with the man I love most.