Saturday, September 8, 2012

I am a 3-hour sleep survivor.

With these 3 hours, I went to visit my baby cousin rayden (oh my god he's so adorable and small and bad at sitting I want to bring him home and plop him on my bed and let him drool on it everywhere) and sent my dad off to the airport for cambodia (may god keep that place safe) and conquered a indoor playground with my baby brother!

Dad was flying off to cambodia to accompany his chaffeured kid for a golf course and at this point I'd just like to marvel and weep at their wealth. Souperlicious was the last family meal we'll have in 5 days. He'll be back soon and safe!



Happy ryan at kidzamaze heh.

I swear I was trying my hardest to mount all the structures there but I was so beat. Had to keep inventing (very smart if I may say) very lazy games for my brother. Like just hopping across seats instead of climbing 3 stories' worth of structures.

And thankfully he fell for it hahah. Was in a formal dress to send my dad off earlier so my mum dropped me at this cheap retail cart and I bought a $8 outfit. Needless to say I look ridiculous. Also there was a saf items sale and I wonder if that's legal, but my brother was wearing nsf shorts everywhere today heh.

Gave up party night for this:

I made a lot of new jewelry!

Was in full makeup and outfit and my friend was pressuring me but Friday was enough to put me off it for a while, so stayed home and it was a good night of diy to the soundtrack of eels and brian mcfadden.

Slept to very miserable literature, the misery I put myself through.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Tonight was a bad, bad night.

Once again, this time more than ever, met a lot of new people who tried to help me out but it wasn't very useful. Saw friends and I really like seeing people I know, makes me feel happier I'm there. And finally tried Friday's @ Helipad.

I had a date for the night and I desperately hope it was good for him. Well regardless, saw my friends in varying stages of drunk and I'm damned glad alcohol only makes me smiley and quiet and dancey and not anything else.

A night to forget.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

My 5th september is a blank space on my Twitter. But it's a wednesday. So it's safe to say I was at clarke quay. OH OKAY IT'S FINALLY COMING BACK TO ME!

(here on my faulty memory speaks:)

Zirca/ rebel with bryan, dwelyn, her boyfriend and a coupla guys I do not remember. I remember a very fast drinking game with bryan, a small conflict, seeing friends and people I never thought I'd see again, and good music.

Also sidenote: I hate roadblocks.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Today is the sister's birthday!





Today was kbox and me spending at her every whim. I can't believe I struggled from the comfort haven of my kbox room to kfc and back just because the dudette was hungry. And what was she doing the whole time! Dancing to "fantastic baby". BIRTHDAY VOIDED DEATH WISH.

She abused her kitty films for today heh.

So anyway, we just placed a big order with 65daigou and I hope to god they're reliable and my things really come 2 weeks from now. I will stay awake night and day or just go home really excited for this heh heh heh.

"She didn’t understand that. “How can anyone be afraid of love?” “How can they not?” His face was completely aghast. “When you love someone… truly love them, friend or lover, you lay your heart open to them. You give them a part of yourself that you give to no one else, and you let them inside a part of you that only they can hurt—you literally hand them the razor with a map of where to cut deepest and most painfully on your heart and soul. And when they do strike, it’s crippling—like having your heart carved out. It leaves you naked and exposed, wondering what you did to make them want to hurt you so badly when all you did was love them. What is so wrong with you that no one can keep faith with you? That no one can love you? To have it happen once is bad enough… but to have it repeated? Who in their right mind would not be terrified of that?"

— Sherrilyn Kenyon, Devil May Cry

Is it bad that I'm on a desperate quest to be single but I want to feel this handicapping, self-ruining misery only a lover can put me through again?

Monday, September 3, 2012

Karaoke with tristal and sherlyn!



Yuanfeng drove us out to supper after heh.

Had rocher's taohuey, I didn't know pudding now has a new name! But nonetheless, it was nice being back here after so long. I miss my friends. But onto happier matters, went to kbox again after sending tristal home and I really have a thing for tequila.

Kbox @ choa chu kang was sherlyn adorably laughing at everything she saw and yuanfeng just refusing the mike and me in a general state of confusion heh. Yf decided he had too much petrol and foolishly sent sherlyn home all the way at kian keat before sending me back to choa chu kang again.

We passed by potong pasir.

So I sat up, took a long look - st andrew's, 142, the canal jogging path. For so long I've resigned to the fact that I can no longer give a shit. As it turned out, my rag of wasted emotions had a last drop, and it's for you.

They say when you love, it's either forever or it never was. I told myself too many times before, and again tonight, that all that was not a lie - I meant everything I felt and everything I said. And I was so sure of you, that you did believe in us. I've ran out of words - what can I say, what a fucking tragedy.

I wish I had a cigarette.

x

A cigarette lights, and he's gone.

[Melissa]

The bottle was finished, but he left his pack.

She inhaled deeply, letting the smoke engulf her lungs in a silly flirtation with death, and exhaled. She often wondered how lethal a cigarette is, so much killing power packed into this small, harmless object. Doesn't it sound like her?

Her clothes were strewn across the floor. One of the dress was torn down to the sides. I'm charging for this next time, she made a mental note, as she made her way to her wardrobe, a cheap array of reds and blacks.

A cigarette lights, then she rang for her next customer.

/

The alley was getting dark, but fuck if he's afraid of that still.

[Chance]

"That session was hardly worth $50. God damn man, introduce me better places next time."

He wanted to slam down the phone, but he realized his iPhone didn't have a cradle. For not the first time that night, he laughed a mirthless laugh. How quaint is technology, our thoughts travel faster than a shark sensing blood but our actions are worthless.

Time for home to the horrific wife again. The alley lights were going out one by one. The frail, bent old man was having a hard time reaching for the switches of the older streetlights. He thought of helping, then changed his mind.

The alley was getting dark, and he was still afraid of it.

/

The same moon, but where are you tonight?

[Johnson]

He reached for the last switch.

The alley's silence was penetrated by a few drunk laughs. He turned, and saw a group of youngsters with bottles in their hands and cigarettes in the other. Is investing in the addictions of death a cool thing amongst the young now?

He smiled happily as he thought of home. The kids are coming home to supper tonight, darling, do you know that? They miss you, and so do I. I can't cook anymore, these hands are useless now, thank god for Chinese takeaway. The waitress gave him a brief smile and passed him his order.

The same moon, we'll be together soon darling.

/

Someday came suddenly, here you are.

[Christine]

The last order was finally done.

She left her hair down, the tight bun now cascading into gentle curls. Her boyfriend was due to pick her up anytime, and she wasn't sure what to expect this time. It seemed each time he returned, it was for the worse. But who knows, God may have mercy on her this time.

She was devastatingly beautiful, with charm and soft intelligence to match. She could have had the world at her feet, but she never wanted anyone else. She tried to not let her living conditions ruin her, but it was poison, and it's finally hitting her bloodstream.

Someday came suddenly, may I take your order again?

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I was reading larmoyante and I got very inspired to do that.

It does sound quaint, doesn't it? The butterfly effect from one person to the next, how so many people can have so many disconnected thoughts that'll always revolve around the same themes: love, work and life.

Maybe I'm just too bored :(

Sunday, September 2, 2012

With the family @ ikea today.





Happy family day.

I saw a lot of future ideas for my flat and I never realized the insane stress an empty room puts on you. For me at least, if I end up messing up my flat, I will never bother stepping in again. I'll sleep at mac's heh.

What I want most of all is probably a wall where I can draw and write whatever the hell I want. Then I can write my beloved quotes and draw nonsense as usual and it'd better be a good collage.

I think I'll completely scrape a dining table. And I think I'd want a small home, a shoe-box apartment. Then I would have nothing to clean and The Husband will not be able to bring another woman home without her accidentally knocking a small corner and crying and me running out of bed to beat her up.

Gave up meeting x for my family day and now I'm missing him very much. Can't wait for the weekend! This is feeling fuzzy and warm. I'm dating an army man again! I must start planning superb civilian weekends.

I need some sleep
It can't go on like this
I tried counting sheep
But there's one I always miss
Everyone says I'm getting down too low
Everyone says you just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go

- Eels, I Need Some Sleep

My newest, saddest song on my phone.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

"And were an epitaph to be my story
I’d have a short one ready for my own.
I would have written of me on my stone:
I had a lover’s quarrel with the world."

— Robert Frost, The Lesson for Today