Discovered a photo perfect spot at Clementi!

Happy hat days :)

Today I felt a great mood to go out and take photos in my all time favourite top right now even though it looked like it was 3 seconds to thunderstorms and sure enough I ran home drenched.

But surprisingly enough, I had a nice time and the photos turned up fab (wtf is wrong with my lips tho) and I'm glad I got to capture my favourite top against the hat for my upcoming launch and my necklace.

Am also glad I learnt from today to never wear red lipstick again, NEVER.

Most of us don't know this, but every single day our body is fighting cancerous cells. It runs in our blood and it runs amok. Day and night, as you read and as I write, our body is the ultimate showcase of our victory.

We are alive. We are undefeated. For another day we will eat, live and breathe. But it doesn't change the fact that the fight is everlasting and constantly ongoing.

In many ways, it made me think of you.

I have long ago accepted that you have become a part of the blood in my veins. I have resigned to the mix of guilt, regret and ache that the thoughts of you bring every night. You're the cancer I have to forever fight, and sometimes all I want to do is surrender to you.

I want to go on my knees and whisper I'm sorry. I want to burn your name into my throat and say it eternally. I want to tell you there's nothing more fucking perfect than you and there never will be.

You are as diverse and complex as a cancer.

You are as painful and unending as a cancer.

You will never be my salvation.

You will only be the death of me.

Today the noodle shop auntie and uncle were mad excited to see me and suan and happily called us over. Turns out it was their last day operating the SIM canteen and I think I cried an internal river.

So goodbye to the rou yuan mian I love with all my life :'(



Tuition afterwards and the kids seemed not-depressed to see me so I got that going for me, which is G R E A T I am feeling like the most accomplished home-made tutor ever.





I love raglan oh honey I'm coming back for you!

Came home to my grandma, aunt and uncle invading the place! They bought lots of goodies and were kindly fawning over my upcoming blogshop. So I'm feeling much more prepped up. Nervous but ready enough!

My grandma was watching chinese shows and complaining that she had to wait forever for the popiah downstairs and that she does not want to sew my pi (a cloth I hug to sleep) for me and I should just find another to sleep with.

She is so cute heh heh a few days ago she had the most popz hair ever and when I noticed she was mad happy, saying it's the first time the hair salon girl finally got the curls right. SO CUTE.



Poor sick you :(

FINALLY SAW THESE TWO AFTER FOREVER.

Oh I love day outs with them heh heh. Today is a series of lame jokes about my broken toe, april's need to touch everything and mintao being sneaky about what he did in his isolation from the world.















Check out us with our happy dinosaurs heh heh.

So today marks the final presentation I will give in SIM!

Was happy to see suan, charleen, fabian and jiadong dressed to the nines heh heh. All looking like cute waiters and waitresses. I think my stockings made me look slutty. GODDAMMIT STOCKINGS.







I was doing the presentation midway when I realized that this is the last time such low standards will be expected from me. Here on now, for all future meetings and presentations, I will be expected to perform and disgraced if I don't meet requirements. Aye.

Headed over to we the furballs with Sophia after!

We were talking about how if anybody ever asks how we met, we would be the only people able to say "we met at changi's women prison" and it would check out as legit. Am genuinely surprised we managed to stay in contact  heh heh.

The strangest places one meets people.

 



























Yukichan peed on me today while she was trying to sleep and I was excited because the place owner joked that maybe she was marking me as her territory. HEH HEH WELL WORTH IT.

Sophia and I both failed to conquer the little cutie behind us in this photo. OH WELL PRINCESS.

I know.

More than anything else, I know. 

I know I'm unhappy. And I know why I'm unhappy.

I'm unhappy because all of these I'm doing isn't improving me. I'm unhappy because I'm not getting better. I'm unhappy because every step I take is a step further from you.



I'm unhappy because I'm here and you're not.

I'm unhappy because you once made me your everything. And yet I took it and snapped it in half. I know. And it is in this knowing that I found full, unbridled misery.

And I won't ever be happy again.

I'm feelin' ill at ease tonight
Cruising down the coast goin' 'bout 99
Lost my love baby by my heavenly side
I know if I go, I'll die happy tonight

Part I of my happy photoshoot with Clara! :)