Saturday, November 30, 2013

I had the loveliest surprise waiting for me tonight.









I've wanted to go to this place since forever and I never thought anyone bothered with me because I prattle on about my endless list all the time but you took the time to listen and slowly take me out one by one.

It was a beautiful experience to be in such a picturesque place sipping tea.

Thank you for bringing me here :)

Friday, November 29, 2013

I do not learn.

I simply do not learn at all.

So it is no surprise that I found myself back here.

It is Sentosa's Anniversary party and that didn't make much difference to me but IT WAS THE MONTHLY FLOWRIDING CLINIC AGAIN! This time though, the counter girl told us to game up and try the barrel.

The ego mistress in me couldn't resist the challenge. Okay not really, the truth is I didn't know what's a barrel, I thought its flowrider but similiar so I thought it was nothing very tough so we gamely agreed.

Stupid, stupid girl.





Before my fall.

We tried the barrel waves and holy fucking shit I was so pissed off after falling the 4th time that I bailed. Imagine waves goes at the speed of kings trying to swallow me (I'm small) and the board trying to assault me (it did leave a mark on my leg in the end) so I was pissed as fuck.

Decided to go back to flowriding like a pussy but at least one that's having fun so over there, suddenly everything seemed a lot easier so I could balance for extended periods without wanting to die.





Feel free to laugh.



This is the gash the goddamn barrel gave me.

And I sustained more injuries than this. The force of the waves were built for bigger men so when I slipped, I flew. My neck hurts till today (three days later), I can't move my arms to my back without feeling like its gonna break, and my gash has gotten uglier.

So girls, just go ahead and acknowledge your pussy self and go ride onto the flowrider till you can do it with your eyes closed, then you can head over to the barrel waves and make a fool out of me.

You've been warned!



It was his treat afterwards at the magnum pop up store and I am disgusted beyond belief at the manager's behavior, which will probably be diluted down in the tsl article, but god damn you cunt, seriously.

In other news, my ice cream tasted odd as fuck but the rose petals made it look so girly. On his side, the gold flakes made his look so manly. So our ice creams are a match in sweet heaven.

Went home sore and tired and sleepy.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

TODAY MARKS THE END OF MY EXAMS WOO.

Yesterday night, my mum went for an operation (which she came safely out of! thank you to whoever blessed her) and my grandma came to stay over to take care of us. It was wonderful to have her again.

I miss screaming around like a spoilt brat just so she'll pacify me in a loving, sarcastic way. I miss the way she ask us again and again what to cook and if we like the food and what I am doing or who I am dating.

She also slept between me and my sister hehehe we studied till 3am and she woke up in between hours to grunt and snore then fall back asleep after asking a blur "why you two never sleep" question hahaha.



So very beautiful at her age.





After exams celebration!

Went to prive and then went to vivo and whiled time away because they had a bunch of time to waste now. For me though, my workload has just begun. Nonetheless, we had two rounds of food woo I LOVE HAVING FRIENDS WHO EAT AS MUCH AS I DO.

Can't wait to see them again for sweechoon! Was intending to head home and rest but one day or another, I ended up at zouk. It was a nice night and it made me realize I missed clubbing a little.

Just a litttttttttttttttle.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

I think you're much like my favourite tattoo. 

See when I got my first one, I was excited. Believe me, I was so incredibly pumped that when the needle came, I thought nothing of it. I was too excited to give a fuck. And for a long time after, I was so happy with it that I didn't think about maintaining it.

I inked this. 

Gradually, the ink begun to fade.

And I think what any logical girl would do - I made arrangements to do a touch up. I worried a long time before it because I was lazy and the parlor was too far away. But one day I had a special someone who decided to go with me. So I went.

The pain was unbearable and halfway I had to stop. I said fuck it and leave the final infinity sign alone. I never got it touched up. Was that my mistake?

The second tattoo was tiresome. I went gloomy and I knew I did not want it as much as I thought I did. But circumstances put me there and I found myself saying "yeah this will do, don't worry it's fine, this is okay" and for a while I asked myself why it didn't matter. But I realized slowly.

I inked this. 

The pain of this tattoo was not physical. This one was brutally emotional. Day and night I'd scratch it in a desperate bid to stop the itching and day and night it threatens to scar me forever with its scab wounds. It did not take long before this tattoo gave up on itself and lost all lackluster.

I thought it was time to touch up. I did not think it was time to leave it be.

So this time alone, I got it touched up. The pain was a vengeful one - the artist didn't appreciate me telling him how fucking much I hated the fading. Before I left he told me that it is choice-less the symbol ink should seep because it was never well done in the first place.

For not the first time, I regretted it. But it was what I wanted at that time. But I regretted it. And I was torn.

Slowly, a special someone convinced me he loved it and I should stop fussing. Slowly, he made fun of it and helped me laugh over it too. Slowly, I begun to forget.

Eventually, all good things leave me. It was expected that he would too. And he did.

I went for a final touch up on the mess. The tattoo artist took a look. He said kindly that he could do an outline deep and the inside less, so the ink would stay. I agreed. It didn't hurt anymore - it was finally a lost wound.

I remembered why I got my first tattoo. And I remembered why I got my second. And in that moment, I knew what I wanted for my third.

I went back.

I didn't tell anyone about my special someone.

I wrote down the single phrase I was going to ink forever on my arm.

I wrote it again and again and pictured me proud of it and pictured me happy with it but of all, I pictured the regrets I may forever have to bear with it.

I booked an appointment.

The tattoo artist must have been miffed. I requested so many redos. I wanted the perfect font and the perfect position.

Nothing about you should be a fuck up again. 

I decided finally. I laid on his makeshift bed.

And I thought of you.

He trailed his needle deep into my skin slowly, intricately, as if to make it sear. I didn't look, I wanted to love it upon sight and I didn't want to see the words in pain.

Strange now in foresight, that I never gave much of a shit about what I felt, only what the words would feel.

The pain was extraordinary compared to the other two. This one I felt with all of my skin and soul. This one was not just inking my body, this one was fusing with my blood.

You. 

The love before the pain,
The blood in my veins.

He gave it a wipe down and I looked at it in the mirror and I tried not to tear through my smile.

I inked this. 

I inked this for you. 

Tuesday, November 26, 2013



I need my hair red again before I die in brown hair NOOOO.

Monday, November 25, 2013

In time for the 52 things to do in Singapore:











Throwback to my prettier days.

I have no idea why my hair looks so perfect and my skin looks so dewy but wtf I fell in love with myself the minute I saw these photos. Okay nicole, it is time to go buy makeup again.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Today was the law exam and I nearly cried when I saw the paper but along the way, my memory came back in shreds so I did not leave the exam body trying to strangle anyone so I got that going for me, which is nice.

It was the gala night of Mrs. S E Asia 2013 afterwards:











What I've learnt from this event in a nutshell:

1. With age, there are women who fade into obscurity and then there are women who gets propelled to greater heights. When the ladies did the catwalk, I could feel the positive waves and vibe they exuded. It's like each of them had an exclusive trait that differentiated them from the rest

2. A great speech sets you apart from the rest of the crowd

3. The contestants for the Gentlemen of Singapore section had costumes more fancy than Victoria Secret and she should be ashamed. Also taught me that there is no accent that can be faked when your voice goes up octaves. So so-called los angeles man - GO HOME, HUI NIANG JIA HUI MA.

I also learnt I can eat a lot but that's besides the point.

Saturday, November 23, 2013



This is completely hand drawn by my mum, who had no formal training whatsoever.

So it is established:

1. My dad can fix anything
2. My mum can draw anything
3. My grandma can cook anything
4. My sister can dance anything
5. My brother can decode anything

What the fuck am I good for?

Friday, November 22, 2013

Attended sister's dance competition in the day!





She is terrific at what she does and I have never been prouder of her.

She didn't win eventually but the judges are just jealous. Also my sister can really dominate a stage. I could flick off the other dances and the whole sequence would still be as entertaining. Props to you sis!

Afterwards was the launch party of pop up store chic kiss love.

And I feel like I've completely wasted my time going because 1) I rushed down after my sister's performance when I could've watched the rest, 2) exams were in 2 days, and 3) the door gift was sigh.



Date: till 31 January 2014
Time: 11am - 8pm
Address: 2 Kallang Avenue, CT Hub, #01-26/27

Read the rest of the article here: (click me or not)

Afterwards had to rush down to rochester to study with mintao and april and it is quite needless to say that I was tired and drained but I managed to cram last minute law stuff in so I guess all's good.



Star Vista is really pretty from up above.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Baby brother off to get his results today!







Really wanted to go with him but I had to study because it was finally my only day off work buttt I ended up not studying so I FULLY REGRET NOT GOING WITH HIM AH SORRY LITTLE BOY.

Not that he cares, he's just glad his cube was there for his graduation :/

I think I'm pretty messed up becase inspite of knowing nothing for my law, hr and econs, I decided to go to allure with bel, jason and junkang. It ranks high on the list of things I will not do from now on.



Tell me I'm not judgmental, but doesn't he look like a gay motherfucker zzz.

If this isn't already in a book already, let me make it known again - I hate all faggoty guys. Which means if you wear jeans too tight, hair too long, does fucking twists, wear colored contacts, manicures your nails, or whine a lot about shit, I will look down on you, and I will not mince my words.

God I should've been borned a man.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Went to stay over at Siewsia's yesterday after studying with Mintao and April!

Had to go home first to get my sleep stuff and work stuff and was too drained to remember that I didn't charge my DSLR so I couldn't focus on anything whole-heartedly. But it felt wonderful to see the girls again!

Felt especially happy to see siewsia again hehe. 

This girl and candice are forever eluding me with their mysterious activities and I often have to drop my plans to meet them the minute they free up because IT IS THAT RARE.











So nice to sleep to siewsia unreasonable sticking her leg on top of mine so I wouldn't squirm around and send her floods of whatsapp to kill her game play HAHAH oh you love me don't you darling.

Can't wait to see them all again without the exam stress!

Tuesday, November 19, 2013





MY HAIR FEELS LIKE A SUPER STAR TODAY.

Today is the final day of school and we celebrated it by studying HO HO HO the varying ways my friends use to punish me for no reason. I pretty much feel asleep because I came from work to school and to study and I'm all for the idea that I embody invincible but mehhh.



THE ERASER THIEVES FINALLY FESS UP.



My favorite people in all of SIM and beyond :')
I write and write and write but have you seen a fucking thing?

I need nobody's attention but yours.

-

“The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
— Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“She chose him. And to hold on to a certain feeling, she sacrificed the world.”
― Nicole Krauss, The History of Love

“I’m still writing about you and you haven’t read a word.”
— Travis Grandt, You Won the Breakup

“Everything about her is living poetry.”
— Six Word Story #55, Absentions

“When I was young, I used to have this thing where I wanted to see everything. I used to think, ‘How can I die without seeing every inch of this world?’”
— Leonardo DiCaprio

You would stand in the room so still sometimes, as if the greatest betrayal of yourself would be to reveal one more inch of your character.”
— Michael Ondaatje, The English Patient

“This morning I awoke clutching your name with such reckless devotion that it turned to dust.”
— Michael Lee, The Addict, a Magician

“A man so painfully in love is capable of self-torture beyond belief.”
— John Steinbeck, East of Eden

“Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune; but great minds rise above them.”
— Washington Irving

“I was your insomnia, I was your grief.”
— Anna Akhmatova

“What a fine day! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.”
— Anton Chekhov

“He in his madness prays for storms, and dreams that storms will bring him peace.”
— Leo Tolstoy, The Death of Ivan Ilych

“I went into the desert to forget about you. But the sand was the color of your hair. The desert sky was the color of your eyes. There was nowhere I could go that wouldn’t be you.”
— Jeffrey Eugenides, Middlesex

"I fell for her like a suicide from a bridge."
— Neil Gaiman, M Is for Magic

“I know you and I are not about poems or other sentimental bullshit but I have to tell you -- even the way you drink your coffee knocks me the fuck out.”
— Clementine von Radics

“I’m here. I love you. I will stay with you. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.”
— Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

“Yours is the light by which my spirit’s born: - you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars.”
— E.E. Cummings

“Dare I say I miss him? I do. I miss him. I still see him in my dreams. They are nightmares mostly, but nightmares tinged with love. Such is the strangeness of the human heart.”
— Yann Martel, Life of Pi

“I see you everywhere, in the stars, in the river, to me you’re everything that exists; the reality of everything.”
— Virginia Woolf, Night and Day

“Because there was a hunger in me to see everything and do everything. I wanted to be everyone I saw. I wasn't enough for me. Can you understand that?”
― Sidney Sheldon, Bloodline

“As if you were on fire from within, the moon lives in the lining of your skin.”
— Pablo Neruda

“My wish is that you may be loved to the point of madness.”
— AndrĂ© Breton, What is Surrealism?: Selected Writings

Monday, November 18, 2013

Day 2 of delta league.







The tiresome itinerary of work then school then study is starting to look terrible and my body has never had more sleep and to be honest, I am running on borrowed energy but strangely - I love it.

I am sick in the head.

Sunday, November 17, 2013





There is nothing like Clementi skies.

Today is day 1 of my job as the official photographer for the Delta League West Zone tournaments and it may as well be renamed DateMe.com because half the league's players hit on me aww.

Feeling so flattered and loved and also very fucking burnt because I did not expect to stand in the sun that much. Also pretty much figured out the correct shooting techniques by day 1. I am goooood.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Today was Universal Studios Singapore with the family!

We were all a little unexcited in the morning but when we reached, it felt as if the place charged us with restlessness so we started taking photos while waiting for the disgusting queue to move hehe.



Obligatory group shot by lousy tourist who couldn't wait for the globe to turn.



Feels like you're here too.







My sad attempt.



Her sadder one.





HAHAHA CAO BIN.

We went for this water attraction. We didn't know how to choose seats strategically so I just sat as I liked and so did the rest of my family. What ensured was the water attacking solely my sister HAHAHA which explains her face her hair and her poor freezing feet.





Oh I love vintage cars.

All these photos are so far away and I probably should go edit them soon but my ass is stuck to the naked engine of the car as you can seen so good lucky prying me away from my newfound vintage love.





We tried most of the rides and they really aren't that bad but my grandma and mum are wussies. We decided to scam them into the transformers ride. Me, my dad and my sister made the ride sound like its for babies.



The king liar.



His mini accomplices.

We managed to scam them in only after they buckled did we tell them its going to be quite a rocky ride HAHAHA. My mum was screaming and laughing at the back while my grandma just shut her eyes awww so cute.



QUEEN OF VANITY.





We went to a diner and it was fab looking. It feels like it has the potential to be the one in Pulp Fiction. Which I truly hope I can set up one day so I'll shame the other themed restaurants ha ha ha I kid.





And we got our season passes!

The day passed by fairly quickly because we ate twice and it rained midway so it was mostly a rush to sit everything and explore everything before it closed. I fucking loved the last attraction, the movie set where they set the water on fire and let everything burn.

I am going back especially to see that again.

Also because I did not take enough photos hahah vain bitch is me.